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New Release Spotlight
Today we are spotlighting Ember-Raine Winters
New Release
Beautiful Delusions!
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from Ember-Raine Winters
Ember-Raine Winters New Release
Book One in the Pride & Honor series
Beautiful Delusions!
Kaylee
One night . . .
One terrible accident . . .
That was all it took to turn my entire life upside-down. My PTSD is worse than ever. The terror I thought I left in my past is back, and this time I might not survive the horrors he promises to bring.
An old friend, Griffin, my best friend at one time bulldozes his way back into my life. He has the power to consume me. I want him... and that is terrifying. Can he actually protect me from the evil that wants to tear me apart?
Griffin
Fifteen years . . .
That's how long I have let the guilt eat me alive for hurting her with my words the way I did. I never thought I would get the chance to atone for my sins. Now that I do, I will stop at nothing to help her, save her . . . keep her.
The only thing I want, apart from Kaylee in my bed, is to protect her from the monster who wants to destroy her.
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Q & A with Ember-Raine Winter about
Beautiful Delusions!
Tell us about Beautiful Delusions.
Beautiful Delusions is a story about a girl who has an extremely dark past. She lives everyday with Non-combat PTSD and looks for ways to overcome it. One night she sees her abuser while driving down the freeway and ends up in a horrible car accident. When she wakes up she finds out there has been a horrible misunderstanding and she is forced into therapy. Griffin a man who was a huge part of her childhood (He was also pretty mean to her when they were in high school) becomes her therapist and it doesn’t take long for the attraction between them to become apparent. Kaylee is being stalked by her abuser and Griffin will stop at nothing to keep her and her two kids safe.
What initially inspired you to write Beautiful Delusions?
I wrote Beautiful Delusions during a really dark time in my life. My own PTSD has gotten decidedly worse over the years and I thought about how it must be for other women who struggle with the same things that I do everyday. No matter how supportive my loved ones are, they just don’t understand the struggle. They don’t understand why something that happened so many years ago still affects me so deeply. There aren’t many books out there where the heroine suffers from PTSD. The common misconception is that it is an illness that is born from war. There aren’t heroines for the women who suffer from the different forms of PTSD. So, I decided to write Beautiful Delusions, not only as a therapeutic activity for myself and my own demons, but for all those women out there that don’t have a heroine who understands them and what they struggle with.
I wrote Beautiful Delusions during a really dark time in my life. My own PTSD has gotten decidedly worse over the years and I thought about how it must be for other women who struggle with the same things that I do everyday. No matter how supportive my loved ones are, they just don’t understand the struggle. They don’t understand why something that happened so many years ago still affects me so deeply. There aren’t many books out there where the heroine suffers from PTSD. The common misconception is that it is an illness that is born from war. There aren’t heroines for the women who suffer from the different forms of PTSD. So, I decided to write Beautiful Delusions, not only as a therapeutic activity for myself and my own demons, but for all those women out there that don’t have a heroine who understands them and what they struggle with.
Tell us little about the characters Beautiful Delusions.
There is a big cast of characters in Beautiful Delusions. Four big burly alpha males that are all the best things about alpha males. Two brothers Griffin and Trey Griffin is a veteran from the U.S. Army and the owner of a large security company. Trey is his little brother and very much a computer nerd. He is an expert hacker and a pro at cyber security. Griffin’s two best friends, who happen to be cousins, Mac and Twitch. Those are nicknames of course. They got them in the military where they served with Griffin. Mac and Twitch’s parents were killed in a car accident when they were twelve. Mac’s aunt was able to take him in, but Twitch was put into the foster care system where he was mistreated and a constant runaway.
There is a big cast of characters in Beautiful Delusions. Four big burly alpha males that are all the best things about alpha males. Two brothers Griffin and Trey Griffin is a veteran from the U.S. Army and the owner of a large security company. Trey is his little brother and very much a computer nerd. He is an expert hacker and a pro at cyber security. Griffin’s two best friends, who happen to be cousins, Mac and Twitch. Those are nicknames of course. They got them in the military where they served with Griffin. Mac and Twitch’s parents were killed in a car accident when they were twelve. Mac’s aunt was able to take him in, but Twitch was put into the foster care system where he was mistreated and a constant runaway.
Kaylee has two children. Leanne is eleven and Lance is three. They are the sweetest kids. While Leanne has a bit of an attitude towards Griffin at the beginning, she quickly learns to love him and the rest of the guys. Kaylee’s sister in-law Tara is the only one who understands Kaylee. She went through her own abuse much like Kaylee did and when Tara married Kaylee’s brother Billy they bonded over mental illness and abusive ex-boyfriends.
What was the hardest part of writing this book?
The hardest part to write was the flashbacks. Many of the things that happened to Kaylee in her past were based on things that had happened in my own past. Writing about the awful events of my past was supposed to be therapeutic, but it made it a lot more difficult to write and made the book take longer to write.
What are your future project(s)?
Beautiful Sacrifice the second book in the Pride and Honor series is undergoing editing right now. It should be ready to release in the summer. The next book is Beautiful Deception and I haven’t started writing it yet. Every book follows another couple, and each book highlights a different form of PTSD. I am hoping to start writing the third book sometime in March.
Now an exciting exclusive excerpt from
Beautiful Delusions!
I was quiet the whole way home. Tara kept looking at me from the corner of her eye. I didn't want to let her in on my torment. I knew I would eventually tell her what was wrong, but it just felt like it was too soon. He came barreling back into my life out of nowhere and I got no choice in the matter. Yes, he apologized for what he did. I didn't get an explanation and then he wants to go on just like nothing ever happened? I couldn't believe the nerve he had.
Before I knew it we were pulling up outside my parents’ house. I sat there for a moment in stunned silence. I still had no idea what to make of the events of that day, but I was glad it was over. I looked over at Tara and she smiled at me tentatively.
“So, that was interesting,” she said carefully. “You gonna be alright?”
“Yeah, I'll be fine. Gym tomorrow?”
“Yup, I'll call you in the morning,” she replied as I unfolded myself from her truck.
“Later,” I replied and shut the door.
The house looked to be quiet from the outside. It was your average suburban home with a perfectly manicured lawn. My dad worked on tirelessly on the weekends when he wasn't working. It had a big picture window in the front and a cast iron bistro set on the front porch. I could see the light peeking through the blinds and knew someone was still awake inside. It was around nine, so I knew Lee-Lee and Lance were in bed.
Something on the front porch caught my eye and a sense of dread washed over me. I walked over as if something might jump out and bite me. I always had a bit of an overactive imagination, that's why I could never watch horror movies. I would have vivid nightmares for days, and see things jumping out of dark corners for the rest of the night.
Once I was diagnosed with PTSD it got decidedly worse. I tried to chalk this up to one of those times. The completely dead and brittle roses sitting on the table of the bistro set told me that I would be lying to myself.
The flowers were black and brittle as if they had been dried for that specific purpose. There was a card lying next to the now brown stems. I realized picking it up could possibly set me back years, but I was curious. I picked it up and unfolded it and when I read it I dropped it like it had burned the flesh off my fingertips and screamed.
Tyler left me on the floor holding my head and neck sobbing. He screamed at me and ran around the house like his ass was on fire.
I have to go Kay, I have to go hide in the woods just in case the cops come. I know your mom, she is gonna call the cops. If she didn't then I am sure one of the neighbors did after the screaming fit you just had,” he bellowed. “God, why do you have to be so stupid? You just got me sent to jail you dumb bitch!”
“No Tyler, if they come I will tell them it's fine that nothing's wrong. There are no marks on my face they will never know,” I lied.
He ran out the back door to go hide in the woods. It was a long time before the police knocked on it. By the time they got there he had already come back and he decided to hide under the bed. I was so scared to say the wrong thing where he could hear me that I told them he wasn’t there.
When they left he got out of his hiding place and went back out to the woods just in case they came back.
I was sobbing on the bed when I heard another knock on the door. I went to answer it and the same cop was there looking at me sympathetically.
“Ma’am, would you mind coming outside and talkin’ to me for a moment?” He asked kindly.
“Sure,” I replied quietly.
Once he got me away from the door I told him everything. He locked me in the front seat of his patrol car while he and the rest of the police officers searched the area for him. I was terrified that he would find me while the police were out looking and jumped at every shadow.
“Kaylee! Kaylee!” My mom screamed at the top of her lungs.
When I came out of it, I was on the ground rocking back and forth. My mom looked like she was gonna lose her mind. I looked up at her tear streaked face and attempted a reassuring smile. By the look on her face it was more like a grimace though.
“Are you ok?” She asked as she helped me up from the ground.
“No,” I replied shaking my head and handing her the card I had crumpled in my fist.
I knew what it said. I only had to read it once to have it memorized. And, that along with the dead roses was enough to send me into one of the most intense flash backs of my entire life. The color drained from my mom’s face. She looked from me to the card to the bouquet of dead roses still sitting untouched on the table.
“Where did this come from? I was out here less than an hour ago,” she panicked.
“I don't know mom, I got home and found them sitting right there on the table. I read the stupid card and I had an episode!” I screamed.
She looked shocked but I couldn't bring myself to care in that moment. All I could think about were the four words scribbled on the card in her hand. “Did you miss me?” I felt bile rise up my throat and had to turn quickly before I threw up all over my mom. I don't think she would appreciate that. I retched in the rose bush until I had nothing left then I retched some more. My mom stood there watching me with a sad look on her face.
“You really did see him that night, didn't you?” She asked quietly.
I glared at her because it was the only thing I could think to do. I knew she was going to beat herself up over the fact that she didn't believe me, but I didn't care. I walked in the house with her hot on my heals and made sure that both doors were locked.
We got the security screen door around the time he was supposed to be released from prison. I was thankful for it then, even though he had never tried to contact me since that night.
Ember-Raine Winters is a lover of Reading, Writing and
learning in general. She lives in Sunny Central California with
her two small children.
Writing Beautiful Delusions was a labor of love
for her. She took some of her own experiences
and changed them to suit her fictional world.
She believes wholeheartedly that this story is
important. She feels that if she can help one
person who suffers from PTSD realize they
aren’t alone then she has done her job. If she
can bring a little awareness to this horrible
disease that is very often overlooked she will be happy.
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